Happy New Year

2+0+2+6=10=1

Leonardo da Vinci

Happy New Year! The amount of things I want to leave behind is unreal. Well not unreal, very real. They say this year is a fresh beginning because it adds up to number one, meaning if you add 2+0+2+6 together, that equals 10, then 1+0 = 1 (numerology.) One sets a new beginning. A new cycle and I’m here for it. Also, they say this year is the year of the horse and that sounds exciting, right? I guess I always want to leave behind things for the New Year. But this list is bigger than it has ever been. I want to leave every thing that doesn’t serve me behind. Even random memories that keep me up at night that have no business keeping me up at night because they are old and rotten. New beginnings, fresh new start. I even want to move and sign a lease to help me with my fresh new start. There were a lot of good things that happened in the year of the snake, but I was totally shedding. I didn’t know I was shedding until December, well really November when my birthday made me think of every little thing.

I’ve been wanting a small rebrand as well. Fashion and beauty have been in my thoughts. What can make me feel brand new? Do I wear too much black? Or the inner emo is there to stay for good? Should I throw in some pink? Get a new blush color? So many detailed thoughts scrambling in my brain. I also want to rebrand my insides. I want to let go and, “Let God,” as they say. I really want to surrender like I’ve never done before. I want to move my static home life and be curious of what will happen next. I’m planning a trip to London, UK, and after that I’m signing a lease somewhere. I am moving out of Los Angeles, CA, I have decided. I think I found a place. I’m not telling anyone where yet. I have to visit it and make sure it feels right. It’s cute and cozy from the photos. I feel so static where I am right now, I am in control of that. Movement is coming, I want to ride the year of the horse, right into a place of surrender and letting go. I know I’ve kinda said that already, but I MEAN IT. I’ve always tried to “Let go,” this year, I’m gonna try my best. Because this year is the last year of my thirties and what better year to really learn about faith and the unknown than the last year in your thirties.

I think my London, UK, will be my last trip for a while. I am due for a family Florida trip. Unfortunately that might have to wait. Perhaps I’ll go during the summer. I just have to find my place and get settled before I venture out again. The amount of writing I have to do is a little overwhelming, but I’m blessed that I am willing and able and ENJOY IT. My, I’ll call it, “Midlife Crisis,” delayed some of my writing. Then again, maybe it’s not a delay at all. Maybe everything is right on time. Maybe I’m right on time. It sure doesn’t feel like it sometimes. I panic at the thought of a clock and running out of time. It’s like the bunny holding the watch in Alice in Wonderland, freaking the fuck out about being late. Leaning into this woo woo faith thing will help. Feeling the unknown and not freaking out about it. Shaking static energy and moving away from something comfortable is what the cards are telling me to do. So I’m gonna do it. Scared.

So Happy Fucking New Year. Let’s go. It’s time to go now.

Possibly me in London before my transformation.